-membunuh masa-

i've been feeling more settled and calm after few days
guess i finally found my resolve
and i do hopefully my resolve is firm and stronger than ever
i am still however
looking for opportunities to broaden my horizon
for heck i'm not one person who can be tied to my homeland at all times
i will venture out whenever i can

i have words to keep to my friends, colleagues and family
as well to my Mr Blue Lion
do have faith in me and my determination

anyways...
after frequent traveling within these few weeks
and after the ground breaking ceremony in Tanjung Manis
i sure have a lot of time to spare
lots of time to chit chat
to chat
to surf
to blog
to laze around
and i have to blame the frequent traveling
because it's been quite hard for me to be really in the working mode
my mind is still there in KL, Kuantan...lingering with my dearest blue lion and friends

-sigh-

hopefully i would be in full working mode next week
i have import licenses to apply
and it is painstakingly took too much time and effort
i even had to postponed one appointment due to my laziness this week!
dang it!
ain't so good huh~~~

oh well....
would be in full sprint next week
that's why i dropped by today to talk about rubbish
and to clean the web-cobs around my virtual lair
fuh~~fuh~~

-wipe-wipe-

since i don't have anything interesting to share with you lots
i'll just stop talking rubbish here

p/s: mr ak....i skyped with my ever dearest blue lion at nights =)

-antara cinta dan cita-

aku pernah katakan pada seorang teman
kiranya aku ingin jadi seorang novelis
ini akan aku jadikan judul novel pertama aku

kian lama sudah aku sepi dari dunia virtual aku ini
ada tika aku punya ide tapi tidak punya masa untuk coretkan segala
ada tika aku punya masa tapi tidak punya jiwa untuk mengarang
ada tika aku hanya sekadar menjengah membuang sawang dan habuk di ruang virtual ini

aku agak berada di persimpangan tika ini
selalunya seorang aku sentiasa tahu apa yang aku mahukan
sentiasa optimis dan oportunis untuk makin maju ke depan
tapi kebelakangan sudah
aku rasakan diri aku semakin hilang motivasi diri
terasa akan jiwa semakin menjauh
asbabnya?
kerana cinta dan cita

pasti ramai yang akan melabel aku seorang yang bodoh kerana bisa jatuh melutut dan hilang waras akal hanya kerana perkara seremeh cinta
tapi apa bisa seorang gadis seusia aku untuk menepis segala gelodak rasa dan perasaan
aku tahu apa aku mahukan dalam masa 2 tahun ini
aku mahu ambil dan cedok segala apa ilmu dan selok belok dunia pekerjaan peringkat global dari syarikat antarabangsa ini
aku mahu dapatkan segulung ijazah
aku mahu meneroka peluang kerja di tanah semenanjung sana

tapi untuk seketika
pendirian aku agak goyah
kerana hati dan jiwa aku begitu memberontak untuk sentiasa dekat padanya
untuk sentiasa berada di sisinya
bukannya aku tidak pernah mengatakan kata-kata ini kepadanya
empunya diri lagikan faham kehendak dan kemahuan aku
cuma aku yang terlalu ligat memikirkan apa yang sebenarnya dimahukan oleh seorang aku

sepertimana kata sang hujan
mencari konklusi
aku masih dan sedang mencari konklusi untuk konflik dalaman yang aku sendiri reka tatkala masa dan ruang diberikan pada aku
betapa aku benci untuk duduk diam seorang diri
betapa aku benci suasana yang begitu hambar dan sunyi
kerana situasi itu yang membuatkan aku sentiasa 'berfikiran tenat'
hingga membuatkan jiwaku cukup tenat

aku sedang masih mencari konklusi
dan padaNya juga aku berserah dan mohon
untuk ditunjukkan jalan kepada apa yang dimahukan dan ditakdirkan untuk seorang aku

jiwa...tenanglah engkau untuk sedetik waima pun
biar aku punya ruang untuk berbicara dengan lebih halus untuk aku dengarkan apa yang engkau cuba jeritkan pada aku yang mungkin sedang tuli ini

kekasih hati...engkau kan sentiasa ada untuk aku kan?
sentiasa ada untuk menerima segala cacat cela dan kekurangan seorang aku kan?
bisikkan pada aku wahai kekasih walaupun kita jauh beribu batu, dipisahkan oleh laut china selatan pun
hati kita tetap kan jadi satu bukan?

-2009 convocation-

it was 3rd of October 2009
i exchanged hand shake with Tengku Mahkota Pahang
and flashes of cameras are everywhere
i was supposed to be extremely happy on that very day
i was happy
but not ecstatic

there are so disappointments during the day
i disappointed many people whom i loved
i even disappointed my ever dearest blue lion
this is my word
i would make it up to those whom i disappointed on that day

just so you know
i would try to attend another convocation for master degree
and hoped to be with all those friends and dearest blue lion on the day
i don't want another disappointment

anyways....
happy graduated UMP-ians
i wish you lots well
and i do hope to see you all again
do keep in touch

-salam eid mubarak-

i know it has been some while since my last post
not that i grew tired of composing my bits and pieces of mind
but i'm still adjusting and adapting to work life situation
and since these two months are crunch hour
i hardly have the time to compose here in my virtual lair

all in all
today is friday and eid mubarak is 1 1/2 half day away
but i'm still in the office (violating the internet service again)
will only be driving back to kampung tomorrow in wee hours

anyways...
salam aidilfitri to all
to my dearest blue lion, MSMN:
"love you with all my heart.may this Syawal witness the strength of our relationship.though you maybe 1 hour 45 minutes flight away, you are always on my mind 24/7.salam eid mubarak to you deary.mohon ampun dan maaf kiranya ada salah dan silap,terkasar kata, tersilap kata,buruk tingkah laku.love you lots"

to my nino, Ecah:
"dearest nino, sorry for not being able to wish you earlier.guess you might be at the kampung already this time.but anyways, missed you much too.may this Syawal bring you even more happiness and success in life. thank you for being there for accepting me, the bad and good ones. happy eid mubarak."

to Emma and Hanis:
"yo ex-room mates...missed the two of you a lot!may this Syawal bring out the best of you lots.take care and enjoy the moments with your family.happy eid mubarak."

to my UMP-ian friends:
"dear all...though i know i'm can be such a pain in the neck but i am glad i know you lots especially those who spent 4 years in the same classroom with me.it broke my heart that i couldn't make those delicious kek lapis for you lots.i've been enjoying doing them for you lots.now that we are walking into individual paths, i do hope that somehow we meet in whatsoever junction in life.though we are far apart, this friendship that we forged would last for life.happy eid mubarak to all."

to my lecturers:
"i had never regretted being enrolled into UMP.though i detest it so much before but now i am so thankful that i'm UMP product.i hoped i made you proud. and i am really thankful for bringing out the best in me.happy eid mubarak to all."

-l.a.z.y-

i am not quite sure why
but i am feeling rather lazy today
has been a lazy bum since morning after sahur

even my brain refused to think more than 5 minutes at one time today
and i took longer time to actually digest each conversation i had today
as the assistant manager said: "not good~~not good~~"

i made a fool out of myself this morning in the office
with such unique and stylish way
i cracked open one of the switch plug in the office
not in usual and normal way
but i accidentally bump hard on the plug with my bum
=(
my office mates have been cracking butt jokes in the office whole day
oh well~~~
luckily most of the staffs here are young ladies

-aanouncement-

fuh~~~
it has been some while since my last posting
but i've been in such tremendous workload in these few weeks
just got back from seminar last two days as well

anyways
tit bits for all
-announcement 1-
muslim will start fasting TOMORROW
welcome ramadhan!
happy fasting to all

-announcement 2-
i did a lousy job in preparing my industrial training report
and i did it in 2 days
my lecturer came this morning and evaluate me
i hope i impressed her as much as i impressed my boss here
but all goes well and i'm glad

-announcement 3-
remember in my last postings i mentioned something about the unpublishable news?
now things are confirmed
i can announce it now
ladies and gentlemen
friends from afar and near
i am officially a permanent staff here in sea party technology co ltd
and will be in charge of our subsidiary company-sea party microbes sdn bhd
my first task now is to ensure my parents will have the taste of my first salary
=)

all in all people
i might not be able to blog as much as i want too this august and september
i would be in a real busy situation
but rest assured
i will not abandon my lair
it's my escapism
anyways
have a great fasting month ahead

-sunday-

i believe that i have a blessful life
though i am not a good daughter to my parents
but i am still trying to be one
thus, i believe i am blessed by them
though i am not a devoted muslim
but i am still striving to become one
thus, Allah made my life easy when i find life's hard at times

it was a hot and dry sunday today
woke up at 8
spend an hour in front of the tv while waiting for my housemates to wake up
but they decided to sleep in this morning
then i crawled back to bed and stayed dreamy until 10
when i was finally up and all cleaned up
i was so ready to do some houseworks
then the phone rang

it was from the office
it was from my assistant manager
and she told me to get to the office for the big bosses will be having meeting at 11
and being someone who owned no car whatsoever
i rushed out home to the bus stop hoping that i won't be having hard time getting one
and i thank Allah so much for there was a bus by the time i reached there

upon arriving at the office
helped to get things ready and done
i even have to keep telling myself that it was sunday
and TOMORROW i will have to come to the office
stayed in the office until 2
good thing was...
the hawt big boss even gave me some lunch money
which makes me adore him even more
i do hope i am eligible for overtime
didn't even thought that the big guns in the office have faith and believe in me
at times they do rely on me
which is a burden and pressured me hard
but i find pleasure in my works
i guess i managed to show them my interest in working there seriously and permanently

two of my superiors laughed at me today
they said i will be having one new assignment tomorrow
and they said it won't be easy
i take that as a challenge
it pumps my adrenaline when one under estimate me
it makes me eager to prove what am i made of
iron and steel.....(literally)
oh well....
had a great sunday
though it was not a sunday i was planning to have

but still
it was great
for the hawt big boss looked damn gorgeous coming into the office in casual wear
way casual for a boss
let us anticipate tomorrow