-weather...gloomy-

i woke up today this morning
shivering and all wrapped up in my blankie
even wore my striking blue strips socks
it has been raining for 3 days in a row now
and it has been 3 morning in a row that i woke up to the sudden chill
some of the morning i woke up
only to find my half persian cat named 'sofia' all curled up on the pillow next to mine
nothing to complained about if her butt is not shoved into my face! (yes...she does that sometime)

there is something peculiar about this morning
still woke up to the sudden chill
all wrapped up in my blankie
with of course my striking blue strips socks
without 'sofia' all curled up next to me (thank god)
but i woke up with a heavy heart
feeling sullen
and to watch my mom's face early this morning
trying very hard to stay happy and all cheered up
it saddens me more
my heart bear this heavy feeling of sadness
that i can almost feel it is sinking further down

my dad left this morning
left for the 2 hours and 15 minutes of flight
across the sea, above the vast blue sky
he had no choice
he was pushed to the corner
WE were pushed all the way to the corner
he transferred
AGAIN!
after only 5 months settling down here in miri
he had to move again to KL
dang it!

and here we are
i didn't show it to all
but it saddens me
the thought of my mom and dad had to live away from each other
after all those years they were always side by side
it saddens me
because i know
my dad somehow feel he is incomplete without my mom beside him
he didn't say or show
but we know
my mom knows
there are times when we sat on the stairs in the evening few days before
my mom asked me out of the blue
''will he be able to eat on time?"
"what will he eat?"
"will he remember to take his medicine on time?"
"who will iron his shirt?"

those questions asked
were left unanswered because i am so incapable of answering them
i cried...
deep down inside i cried
all i ask is some strength so that i can support my parents
all i want now is some insane motivation
so that i can achieve my dreams i had always wanted by end of this year
so that i can replace my dad's position
as the sole breadwinner of the family
all i ask is that God Almighty give my parents the health and strength, physically and mentally
i want them to taste and relax the luxury that i promised myself to offer them

may this heavy cloud hurry dissipate
it's gloomy enough