-back to basic-

how long has it been since i last publish an entry here
i know it has been ages
quite some time long that the settings in my blog went haywire
i kinda withdrew myself from my virtual lair for quite some time

i have returned to basic
again
i have no idea as well what i've gotten myself into this time
but i do believe, the grass greener on the other side of fence
i had always believe that in due time, there will be a slot for me
if i'm patient enough

anyways
i've returned to the times attending classes
listening to lectures
meeting new friends
getting some new networks
gaining new knowledge and sharpening my then acquired knowledge
i've resigned from my previous job
i did not hate the job
i did not hate the company
it's the environment that i despise
but still....it is a bitter sweet moment that i had never had an inch of regret
now i'm back and returned to classes
hanging and lingering around
looking and hunting for the next job
i would be back in the action
soon...i hope~~~

i'm still in the class
waiting for the next lecture to come
but even if the lecture started
my eyes never seems tired of reading whatsoever material i can get on the web
my fingers never want to cease from prancing on the keyboard (well...once i started to type though)
i will try to update once a while


p/s: i missed my blue lion so much....though we are miles apart...i have to thank the ease of text messaging and phone calls =)

-end of year havoc-

haish~~~~
i have been on and off writing and babbling here in my virtual space
not that i actually stopped writing
i never did
but it just that i felt my writing becoming way dull than it ever been
see???
even my grammars are running all over the place now

anyways
december arrived in a blink of an eye
really didn't realize that 2009 is nearing its end
with this year coming to its end
there are sure heck of activities going on
i had been busy for the last two weeks
juggling work at the office and work at home
not that i'm turning to a housewife
but my family are going to transfer to our home sweet home

Home Sweet Home!

okay~~~
it doesn't look like much of a house as yet
but it will be furnished and bling bling cleaned in few days
or so i hope!
and yes!
finally....my family get to live in our own house
not that we are homeless all these years
but with the nomad habit of my family
it's hard to get a house of our own

oh well
i hope things go well for the house and the transfer
there are heaps of workload to do
but i am optimist things will turn out fine
i always look on the bright side of life
why bother to make your life dull right?

oh ya....
forgot to mention
currently i'm actively job hunting for another job
not that i hate the job i have now
but i despise the people i have to confront everyday in the office
i'm only 23 with a fresh, young and vibrant look
i want to stay and look that way
i don't to age faster with the kind of reluctant i have to feel every single day
if you happen to know a friend of a friend of a friend
who have a contact of his friend of a friend that needs new recruit
just drop me the bombshell ya~~~ =)

okay....
enough with the whatsoever mumbles
i'll see when will the next entry be

-blog cleaning-

crap!

-wipe-wipe-

when was the last time the author stopped by and actually cleans this blog?
the dusts would be 3 inches thick around this time -literally-

wow....
it's fascinating isn't it?
december is here already
it seems like yesterday when i waved my friends and my bluelion goodbye at the campus (note: i didn't even get the chance to see my blue lion on the last day on campus okay)
even now that i started working
i've been busy looking for other jobs
how i much wanted to throw myself into action
and acquire technical skills
i really loved my engineering degree you see
it's not easy to get let alone to gain
i even failed few papers first before i actually graduated with second class upper

did you remember how ecstatic i was
when i was accepted as the permanent staff
just within very few months
my ecstatic and euphoric feelings declined greatly
i even suffered from major gastric pain for one whole week because of the company's management team
and i had never been so much determined to actually get hooked on another job
hopefully somewhere in the peninsula
i guess i'm the type of people
who really likes to jeopardize my harmony and easy going life
and throw myself into a rat race world
well...it's the disadvantage to be young and wild

anyways...
wish me well
on getting another job
by end of this year
i really need to get out of this crappy job i'm doing now

-remisnicing-

i hadn't been much of writer lately
maybe it's the workload or the time
or it's the feel and heart to write kinda fade bit by bit
i really hope not the last reason

i couldn't really blame on the workload
because if it is the workload
i wouldn't be able to surf the net even for a second
i seldom give excuses
i only give excuses when i seriously do not have the heart to do anything or go anywhere

i've been adjusting myself in working life for few months
though the company has not yet expand into a bigger and grander organization as it supposed to
i somehow managed to get myself entangled with various kinds of office politics
and dang it!
it ain't fun or great T_T
oh well~~~
i was going to write some more
but i have some work to settle first
let this be first part of the story
i have to keep it mysterious enough for it to be interesting
i'm not that excellent in writing okay~~~
okay...let's end part 1

abruptly.

-BCCK-

no~~~
that ain't any abbreviation for any boy bands thought it has that kind of commercial value
it stands for Borneo Convention Centre Kuching
what i would like a sister to KLCC
but very grand in a way
though its location is not really that strategic
but it's grand because it has spaces to 'park' yacht!

oh~~~
why am i so excited tell tales about BCCK?
i will be spending a couple of days maybe three down in BCCK
will be joining the company in Malaysia Global Business Forum
it's a grand event since it involves two countries
Bosnia-Herzegovina and Malaysia
Sarawak is the host this year!

and what excites me more
my all time idol will be attending the seminars and round table sessions
it's Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad we're talking here!
so far...i have no luck as yet meeting him face to face
i'd really love to at least catch a glimpse of him
i adore that man
be it a 5 long hours speech
i would be listening eagerly and intensely
though i don't really read much of his papers and books
but i followed his blog
and i really anticipate moments at BCCK
who knows i'll have much luck meeting him or watching his back from a far T_T

about the forum
it's a big event and you can have much more info here www.malaysiaglobalbusinessforum.com
this is only the preview
i'll be making sure to snap pictures all the way
and post it on facebook =)

anyways
been so long since my last post
i spent much time blog reading nowadays
and only blog here when i'm to ecstatic about something
this being one of it =)
will be coming over soon

-membunuh masa-

i've been feeling more settled and calm after few days
guess i finally found my resolve
and i do hopefully my resolve is firm and stronger than ever
i am still however
looking for opportunities to broaden my horizon
for heck i'm not one person who can be tied to my homeland at all times
i will venture out whenever i can

i have words to keep to my friends, colleagues and family
as well to my Mr Blue Lion
do have faith in me and my determination

anyways...
after frequent traveling within these few weeks
and after the ground breaking ceremony in Tanjung Manis
i sure have a lot of time to spare
lots of time to chit chat
to chat
to surf
to blog
to laze around
and i have to blame the frequent traveling
because it's been quite hard for me to be really in the working mode
my mind is still there in KL, Kuantan...lingering with my dearest blue lion and friends

-sigh-

hopefully i would be in full working mode next week
i have import licenses to apply
and it is painstakingly took too much time and effort
i even had to postponed one appointment due to my laziness this week!
dang it!
ain't so good huh~~~

oh well....
would be in full sprint next week
that's why i dropped by today to talk about rubbish
and to clean the web-cobs around my virtual lair
fuh~~fuh~~

-wipe-wipe-

since i don't have anything interesting to share with you lots
i'll just stop talking rubbish here

p/s: mr ak....i skyped with my ever dearest blue lion at nights =)

-antara cinta dan cita-

aku pernah katakan pada seorang teman
kiranya aku ingin jadi seorang novelis
ini akan aku jadikan judul novel pertama aku

kian lama sudah aku sepi dari dunia virtual aku ini
ada tika aku punya ide tapi tidak punya masa untuk coretkan segala
ada tika aku punya masa tapi tidak punya jiwa untuk mengarang
ada tika aku hanya sekadar menjengah membuang sawang dan habuk di ruang virtual ini

aku agak berada di persimpangan tika ini
selalunya seorang aku sentiasa tahu apa yang aku mahukan
sentiasa optimis dan oportunis untuk makin maju ke depan
tapi kebelakangan sudah
aku rasakan diri aku semakin hilang motivasi diri
terasa akan jiwa semakin menjauh
asbabnya?
kerana cinta dan cita

pasti ramai yang akan melabel aku seorang yang bodoh kerana bisa jatuh melutut dan hilang waras akal hanya kerana perkara seremeh cinta
tapi apa bisa seorang gadis seusia aku untuk menepis segala gelodak rasa dan perasaan
aku tahu apa aku mahukan dalam masa 2 tahun ini
aku mahu ambil dan cedok segala apa ilmu dan selok belok dunia pekerjaan peringkat global dari syarikat antarabangsa ini
aku mahu dapatkan segulung ijazah
aku mahu meneroka peluang kerja di tanah semenanjung sana

tapi untuk seketika
pendirian aku agak goyah
kerana hati dan jiwa aku begitu memberontak untuk sentiasa dekat padanya
untuk sentiasa berada di sisinya
bukannya aku tidak pernah mengatakan kata-kata ini kepadanya
empunya diri lagikan faham kehendak dan kemahuan aku
cuma aku yang terlalu ligat memikirkan apa yang sebenarnya dimahukan oleh seorang aku

sepertimana kata sang hujan
mencari konklusi
aku masih dan sedang mencari konklusi untuk konflik dalaman yang aku sendiri reka tatkala masa dan ruang diberikan pada aku
betapa aku benci untuk duduk diam seorang diri
betapa aku benci suasana yang begitu hambar dan sunyi
kerana situasi itu yang membuatkan aku sentiasa 'berfikiran tenat'
hingga membuatkan jiwaku cukup tenat

aku sedang masih mencari konklusi
dan padaNya juga aku berserah dan mohon
untuk ditunjukkan jalan kepada apa yang dimahukan dan ditakdirkan untuk seorang aku

jiwa...tenanglah engkau untuk sedetik waima pun
biar aku punya ruang untuk berbicara dengan lebih halus untuk aku dengarkan apa yang engkau cuba jeritkan pada aku yang mungkin sedang tuli ini

kekasih hati...engkau kan sentiasa ada untuk aku kan?
sentiasa ada untuk menerima segala cacat cela dan kekurangan seorang aku kan?
bisikkan pada aku wahai kekasih walaupun kita jauh beribu batu, dipisahkan oleh laut china selatan pun
hati kita tetap kan jadi satu bukan?