tonight (early wee hours i must say)
there is this one HUGE mission
it is so HUGE that it has been giving me butterflies and grasshoppers along with those jittery and made me all fidgety
it is a long awaited battle
it is going to be a furious one
of course it is furious
it's a battle between the roman gods and the english devils
DANG IT!
fingers crossed
let none of the roman gods succeed in vanquishing the rage of the RED DEVILS!
yeah~~~
i am just being excited
and arrogant
teehhheeehheee~~~
5/26/2009
5/18/2009
-weather...gloomy-
i woke up today this morning
shivering and all wrapped up in my blankie
even wore my striking blue strips socks
it has been raining for 3 days in a row now
and it has been 3 morning in a row that i woke up to the sudden chill
some of the morning i woke up
only to find my half persian cat named 'sofia' all curled up on the pillow next to mine
nothing to complained about if her butt is not shoved into my face! (yes...she does that sometime)
there is something peculiar about this morning
still woke up to the sudden chill
all wrapped up in my blankie
with of course my striking blue strips socks
without 'sofia' all curled up next to me (thank god)
but i woke up with a heavy heart
feeling sullen
and to watch my mom's face early this morning
trying very hard to stay happy and all cheered up
it saddens me more
my heart bear this heavy feeling of sadness
that i can almost feel it is sinking further down
my dad left this morning
left for the 2 hours and 15 minutes of flight
across the sea, above the vast blue sky
he had no choice
he was pushed to the corner
WE were pushed all the way to the corner
he transferred
AGAIN!
after only 5 months settling down here in miri
he had to move again to KL
dang it!
and here we are
i didn't show it to all
but it saddens me
the thought of my mom and dad had to live away from each other
after all those years they were always side by side
it saddens me
because i know
my dad somehow feel he is incomplete without my mom beside him
he didn't say or show
but we know
my mom knows
there are times when we sat on the stairs in the evening few days before
my mom asked me out of the blue
''will he be able to eat on time?"
"what will he eat?"
"will he remember to take his medicine on time?"
"who will iron his shirt?"
those questions asked
were left unanswered because i am so incapable of answering them
i cried...
deep down inside i cried
all i ask is some strength so that i can support my parents
all i want now is some insane motivation
so that i can achieve my dreams i had always wanted by end of this year
so that i can replace my dad's position
as the sole breadwinner of the family
all i ask is that God Almighty give my parents the health and strength, physically and mentally
i want them to taste and relax the luxury that i promised myself to offer them
may this heavy cloud hurry dissipate
it's gloomy enough
shivering and all wrapped up in my blankie
even wore my striking blue strips socks
it has been raining for 3 days in a row now
and it has been 3 morning in a row that i woke up to the sudden chill
some of the morning i woke up
only to find my half persian cat named 'sofia' all curled up on the pillow next to mine
nothing to complained about if her butt is not shoved into my face! (yes...she does that sometime)
there is something peculiar about this morning
still woke up to the sudden chill
all wrapped up in my blankie
with of course my striking blue strips socks
without 'sofia' all curled up next to me (thank god)
but i woke up with a heavy heart
feeling sullen
and to watch my mom's face early this morning
trying very hard to stay happy and all cheered up
it saddens me more
my heart bear this heavy feeling of sadness
that i can almost feel it is sinking further down
my dad left this morning
left for the 2 hours and 15 minutes of flight
across the sea, above the vast blue sky
he had no choice
he was pushed to the corner
WE were pushed all the way to the corner
he transferred
AGAIN!
after only 5 months settling down here in miri
he had to move again to KL
dang it!
and here we are
i didn't show it to all
but it saddens me
the thought of my mom and dad had to live away from each other
after all those years they were always side by side
it saddens me
because i know
my dad somehow feel he is incomplete without my mom beside him
he didn't say or show
but we know
my mom knows
there are times when we sat on the stairs in the evening few days before
my mom asked me out of the blue
''will he be able to eat on time?"
"what will he eat?"
"will he remember to take his medicine on time?"
"who will iron his shirt?"
those questions asked
were left unanswered because i am so incapable of answering them
i cried...
deep down inside i cried
all i ask is some strength so that i can support my parents
all i want now is some insane motivation
so that i can achieve my dreams i had always wanted by end of this year
so that i can replace my dad's position
as the sole breadwinner of the family
all i ask is that God Almighty give my parents the health and strength, physically and mentally
i want them to taste and relax the luxury that i promised myself to offer them
may this heavy cloud hurry dissipate
it's gloomy enough
5/16/2009
-RED DEVILS!-
today is a celebration
CELEBRATION!
GLORY bebeh~~~~
can you just the smiles
on these red devils?
yes~~~
i am one PROUD red devil fan
fergie~~~
all hail to your great guidance for all these years
since this another big addition to your countless trophies and success
i hope you will continue to succeed and swipe 'em all
to the devils~~~
my fave had always and will always be Ryan Giggs
your suave move on the field had never ceased to amuse me
so keep on amusing me
s what if he's old to my liking
oh ya~~~
ji sung oppa~~~
i called you tornado
you ran up and down the field in a blink of an eye
you sure are equipped with turbo engine with a NOS
all in all
we started this season kinda low and slow
but regardless the downs
i had never stop cheering for you lots
we end this season greatly
came back strong after losses
proved that our spirit is not that vulnerable to shatter
to end this
let me hear all the red devils cheer!
GLORY!GLORY!
GLORY!GLORY!
GLORY!GLORY!
-akademi fantasia?-
ladies and gents
forgive me
but i watched AF7 final concert all the way from the beginning till the end
i was forced to endure those hours in agony!
first of all
i have to clarify
i am NOT a fan of AF products/concerts/diaries/shows and whatsoever related to it
NOT even an inch/mL/cm whatsoever
BUT my parents and siblings
happened to be such a hard-core-die-hard-fans of AF
i was pushed into the minority corner
whom lost all rights to touch or even get near to the remote control
AGONY
i don't think there is a word suitable to actually describe
the hours of putting up with the concert
and to make things worse
the RED DEVILS had their FINAL match against arsenal tonight!
and not even a second i was given the chance to watch or catch a glimpse of the devils in action T_T
just imagine how my heart shattered when my friends texted me on their VICTORY
YAY!
ji sung oppa~~~giggsy~~~
although i missed your game
i was with you all the way
from that many years back till this moment
and for many years to come
GLORY!GLORY!
there's this one contestant in AF i called 'ulat bulu'
i have no where to escape
but to listen while typing
have mercy on me~~~~ T_T
forgive me
but i watched AF7 final concert all the way from the beginning till the end
i was forced to endure those hours in agony!
first of all
i have to clarify
i am NOT a fan of AF products/concerts/diaries/shows and whatsoever related to it
NOT even an inch/mL/cm whatsoever
BUT my parents and siblings
happened to be such a hard-core-die-hard-fans of AF
i was pushed into the minority corner
whom lost all rights to touch or even get near to the remote control
AGONY
i don't think there is a word suitable to actually describe
the hours of putting up with the concert
and to make things worse
the RED DEVILS had their FINAL match against arsenal tonight!
and not even a second i was given the chance to watch or catch a glimpse of the devils in action T_T
just imagine how my heart shattered when my friends texted me on their VICTORY
YAY!
ji sung oppa~~~giggsy~~~
although i missed your game
i was with you all the way
from that many years back till this moment
and for many years to come
GLORY!GLORY!
there's this one contestant in AF i called 'ulat bulu'
i have no where to escape
but to listen while typing
have mercy on me~~~~ T_T
5/10/2009
-ceritera hari ibu-
-ini entri yang panjang...pastikan kalian benar-benar bosan saat ini-
10 mei
satu hari itu sudah berlalu semalam
hari ibu-ibu dirai
aku seorang yang tidak reti dan tolol
untuk mengucap kata-kata indah buat bonda tercinta
tapi ucapan hari ibu aku sampaikan jua
dan aku turut minta bonda berehat untuk satu hari itu
aku cukup senang dan puas
melihat bonda senang dan gembira
walaupun aku tahu
dia bersedih mengenangkan peneman jiwa dan raga nya
bakal berpindah nun ke tanah seberang sana
tapi aku puas bercerita agar masa senggang nya yang sesaat dua cuma itu
tidak dia layani rasa gundah gulana
namun di sebalik segala apa yang cuba aku tunjukkan
pada bonda
bahawa betapa aku sanjungi, sayangi dan hormati sang bonda
aku punya dua orang adik yang secara misteri nya
mengalihkan posisi akal fikiran dan otak untuk berfikir secara waras
yang mana ianya patut berada di kepala
secara magis nya telah berada di kepala lutut!
YA!
i am DANG IT pissed off!
ceritera ini
aku pohon bisa jadi panduan buat kalian
barangmana kalian bisa menghembuskan pada aku
kekuatan dan kebijaksaan untuk berbicara dengan saudara kandung aku ini
-adik yang umurnya 22 tahun (sila ambil perhatian pada umurnya)-
sudah hampir setahun menghabiskan pengajian di politeknik
dalam jurusan perhotelan dan katering (kalau aku tidak silap)
dan selama hampir setahun itu jugalah
dia bangga menjadi seorang penanam anggur yang versatil
dan pabila disuruh mula 'job-hunting'
mula menarik muka,memberi alasan pelbagai
segala apa peluang dicarikan bersungguh oleh bonda
segala apa bantuan diberikan oleh bonda
segala apa iklan peluang pekerjaan, laman web yang berfaedah, borang-borang yang diberikan oleh saudara mara
segala itu BONDA berikan,sediakan,carikan
tugas si adik sungguh mudah
hanya isi dan hantar!
itu pun si adik perlu dipaksa! (diulangi-DIPAKSA)
aku tanyakan pada si adik apa yang dia mahu sebenar-benarnya
katanya mahu sambung pelajaran dalam jurusan "sports, events and entertainment" (sila bertenang)
katanya itu satu cabaran,dia seorang yang versatil pelbagai,yang punya pakej untuk itu
sepanjang pentang kami bicara
dan kami dengarkan hujah masing-masing
kalian patut dengar hujahnya sekali (aku lupa mahu rekod)
sehari selepas hujahnya yang gah itu
bonda memintanyan untuk menelefon PTPTN untuk menanyakan hal penangguhan pembayaran balik
selepas dia memberikan segala apa buah fikiran (atau aku patut tukarkan buah lutut?erk...) pada petang sebelumnya
dia boleh mencebik muka pada bonda dan hilang segala hujah untuk berbicara pada pihak PTPTN!
DANG IT!DANG IT!DANG IT!
oh...in the end..it was ME who called PTPTN on HER behalf
dan dari saat itu
dia berjaya menjadi orang asing di rumah sendiri
tidak duduk makan bersama
tidak menjamah pun masakan bonda
itu yang buat aku merasa luluh
apatah lagi bonda
ya...dia seorang anak
yang sanggup berperilaku begitu
-adik yang umurnya 17 tahun-
anak bongsu
anak emas yang ditatang dengan penuh segala kasih
tapi tidak tahu apa itu hormat
tidak tahu apa itu mengenang jasa apatah lagi mendengar kata
bakal menduduki SPM tidak lama lagi
tapi lagi khusyuk menghadap kaca televisyen
dari menghadap buku
tiap saat yang dihabiskan di rumah
hanya satu jam sahaja diperuntukkan untuk belajar
tepat pukul 8 malam,masuk ke dalam bilik,handphone sentiasa di sebelah,buku-buku dihampar di atas tilam,setiap 5 minit berbalas SMS,15 minit sebelum jam 9,kemas-kemas buku,lagi 5 minit buletin utama habis,dia sudah berada di ruang tamu,memegang remote control
itu rutin (diulangi-RUTIN)
bila ditegur cara lembut oleh bonda
dibalas dengan suara yang tinggi
diberi jelingan setajam boleh
dan ya
dia seorang anak yang berani berperilaku sebegitu
aku seorang anak yang cukup degil zaman sekolah dahulu
kerana aku pernah membuat bondaku menitiskan airmata
mengenangkan perangai aku dahulu kala
membuatkan aku serik
cukup serik untuk berperilaku sebegitu lagi
aku sehabis daya menasihati adik-adik aku
agar jangan contohi aku
tapi sebagai seorang kakak
aku gagal kan?
kerana mereka sudah berani berperilaku sedemikian rupa
aku masih ingat rasa sebak dan sesal yang aku tahu
tidak akan surut dari hati
saat aku titiskan airmata bonda
dan kenapa mereka masih tidak nampak itu
mereka masih tidak sedar semua itu
pada umur begitu
seharusnya mereka tahukan
syurga itu di tapak kaki bonda
kerana anak buah aku yang umurnya baru 2 tahun seperti sudah tahu itu
ini bukan cerita indah
yang patut ada pada hari ibu bukan
aku punya rasa sesal itu
kerana aku tidak dapat menghadiahi bonda
hadiah yang menyenangkan
10 mei
satu hari itu sudah berlalu semalam
hari ibu-ibu dirai
aku seorang yang tidak reti dan tolol
untuk mengucap kata-kata indah buat bonda tercinta
tapi ucapan hari ibu aku sampaikan jua
dan aku turut minta bonda berehat untuk satu hari itu
aku cukup senang dan puas
melihat bonda senang dan gembira
walaupun aku tahu
dia bersedih mengenangkan peneman jiwa dan raga nya
bakal berpindah nun ke tanah seberang sana
tapi aku puas bercerita agar masa senggang nya yang sesaat dua cuma itu
tidak dia layani rasa gundah gulana
namun di sebalik segala apa yang cuba aku tunjukkan
pada bonda
bahawa betapa aku sanjungi, sayangi dan hormati sang bonda
aku punya dua orang adik yang secara misteri nya
mengalihkan posisi akal fikiran dan otak untuk berfikir secara waras
yang mana ianya patut berada di kepala
secara magis nya telah berada di kepala lutut!
YA!
i am DANG IT pissed off!
ceritera ini
aku pohon bisa jadi panduan buat kalian
barangmana kalian bisa menghembuskan pada aku
kekuatan dan kebijaksaan untuk berbicara dengan saudara kandung aku ini
-adik yang umurnya 22 tahun (sila ambil perhatian pada umurnya)-
sudah hampir setahun menghabiskan pengajian di politeknik
dalam jurusan perhotelan dan katering (kalau aku tidak silap)
dan selama hampir setahun itu jugalah
dia bangga menjadi seorang penanam anggur yang versatil
dan pabila disuruh mula 'job-hunting'
mula menarik muka,memberi alasan pelbagai
segala apa peluang dicarikan bersungguh oleh bonda
segala apa bantuan diberikan oleh bonda
segala apa iklan peluang pekerjaan, laman web yang berfaedah, borang-borang yang diberikan oleh saudara mara
segala itu BONDA berikan,sediakan,carikan
tugas si adik sungguh mudah
hanya isi dan hantar!
itu pun si adik perlu dipaksa! (diulangi-DIPAKSA)
aku tanyakan pada si adik apa yang dia mahu sebenar-benarnya
katanya mahu sambung pelajaran dalam jurusan "sports, events and entertainment" (sila bertenang)
katanya itu satu cabaran,dia seorang yang versatil pelbagai,yang punya pakej untuk itu
sepanjang pentang kami bicara
dan kami dengarkan hujah masing-masing
kalian patut dengar hujahnya sekali (aku lupa mahu rekod)
sehari selepas hujahnya yang gah itu
bonda memintanyan untuk menelefon PTPTN untuk menanyakan hal penangguhan pembayaran balik
selepas dia memberikan segala apa buah fikiran (atau aku patut tukarkan buah lutut?erk...) pada petang sebelumnya
dia boleh mencebik muka pada bonda dan hilang segala hujah untuk berbicara pada pihak PTPTN!
DANG IT!DANG IT!DANG IT!
oh...in the end..it was ME who called PTPTN on HER behalf
dan dari saat itu
dia berjaya menjadi orang asing di rumah sendiri
tidak duduk makan bersama
tidak menjamah pun masakan bonda
itu yang buat aku merasa luluh
apatah lagi bonda
ya...dia seorang anak
yang sanggup berperilaku begitu
-adik yang umurnya 17 tahun-
anak bongsu
anak emas yang ditatang dengan penuh segala kasih
tapi tidak tahu apa itu hormat
tidak tahu apa itu mengenang jasa apatah lagi mendengar kata
bakal menduduki SPM tidak lama lagi
tapi lagi khusyuk menghadap kaca televisyen
dari menghadap buku
tiap saat yang dihabiskan di rumah
hanya satu jam sahaja diperuntukkan untuk belajar
tepat pukul 8 malam,masuk ke dalam bilik,handphone sentiasa di sebelah,buku-buku dihampar di atas tilam,setiap 5 minit berbalas SMS,15 minit sebelum jam 9,kemas-kemas buku,lagi 5 minit buletin utama habis,dia sudah berada di ruang tamu,memegang remote control
itu rutin (diulangi-RUTIN)
bila ditegur cara lembut oleh bonda
dibalas dengan suara yang tinggi
diberi jelingan setajam boleh
dan ya
dia seorang anak yang berani berperilaku sebegitu
aku seorang anak yang cukup degil zaman sekolah dahulu
kerana aku pernah membuat bondaku menitiskan airmata
mengenangkan perangai aku dahulu kala
membuatkan aku serik
cukup serik untuk berperilaku sebegitu lagi
aku sehabis daya menasihati adik-adik aku
agar jangan contohi aku
tapi sebagai seorang kakak
aku gagal kan?
kerana mereka sudah berani berperilaku sedemikian rupa
aku masih ingat rasa sebak dan sesal yang aku tahu
tidak akan surut dari hati
saat aku titiskan airmata bonda
dan kenapa mereka masih tidak nampak itu
mereka masih tidak sedar semua itu
pada umur begitu
seharusnya mereka tahukan
syurga itu di tapak kaki bonda
kerana anak buah aku yang umurnya baru 2 tahun seperti sudah tahu itu
ini bukan cerita indah
yang patut ada pada hari ibu bukan
aku punya rasa sesal itu
kerana aku tidak dapat menghadiahi bonda
hadiah yang menyenangkan
5/07/2009
-holiday?-
few days into this so-called holiday
i have been kinda clueless these few days at home
i wonder why~~~
i am rather pleased
when my-soon-to-be-employer was reviewed in buletin utama TV3 two nights ago
i am eager to start though i have lots to learn in a month
my dad was rambling around about me choosing to go to that company
saying that it is not related at all with my course
well~~~
i prepared for that
and i needed that kind of rambling
it gives me the fuel to strive forward
yeps....
kinda freaky right
but critics are one of many things that motivates me
here at home
i have been busy
well....
i have to keep myself busy
so that i will not have that much free time
to feel down
and suffer from the i-missed-everyone illness
thank god we have this thing called internet
at least it made me feel that peninsular malaysia is a stone's throw away
i have been kinda clueless these few days at home
i wonder why~~~
i am rather pleased
when my-soon-to-be-employer was reviewed in buletin utama TV3 two nights ago
i am eager to start though i have lots to learn in a month
my dad was rambling around about me choosing to go to that company
saying that it is not related at all with my course
well~~~
i prepared for that
and i needed that kind of rambling
it gives me the fuel to strive forward
yeps....
kinda freaky right
but critics are one of many things that motivates me
here at home
i have been busy
well....
i have to keep myself busy
so that i will not have that much free time
to feel down
and suffer from the i-missed-everyone illness
thank god we have this thing called internet
at least it made me feel that peninsular malaysia is a stone's throw away
5/05/2009
-borneo-
after been away for quite some time from home
i am back
back to my homeland a last
it has been one full year
since i last went back for holiday
it feels refreshing
but that i am back
to have another rest
for a little while
i will be facing yet another challenge
another phase in life
which i hope
i am able to encounter well
i shall unleash the wild me
so that the world can see
that i have the gems and potentials
p/s:this is truly an ad-hoc rambling of mine.being excited and ecstatic back at home had urge me to ramble whatsoever i can
i am back
back to my homeland a last
it has been one full year
since i last went back for holiday
it feels refreshing
but that i am back
to have another rest
for a little while
i will be facing yet another challenge
another phase in life
which i hope
i am able to encounter well
i shall unleash the wild me
so that the world can see
that i have the gems and potentials
p/s:this is truly an ad-hoc rambling of mine.being excited and ecstatic back at home had urge me to ramble whatsoever i can
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